I'll be walking beside you every step of the way No matter what!
by maria190
Summary: The strength of Will and Lou's love!
1. Chapter 1

**Well as I am soooooo overwhelmed and touched with Will and Lou and their love story, I came up with this story. A story about Will and Clark. After I saw the movie and read the book, this couple stayed scored on my heart and it will stay there forever. It's so devastated that Will went to Dignitas because he loves her as much as she loves him. So, this is a two chapter story people. Chapter one is about Lou's point of view and her feelings about Will. Chapter two is about Will's point of view and his feelings about Lou. Clark, as he likes to call her. The story takes place after Alicia's and Rupert's wedding and the night they spent at the hotel away from the annex. This story explains that even Will did go to Switzerland, his love with Lou is eternal and they will be together forever. They will be walking beside each other's side every step of the way, no matter what. Until they will meet again. So I hope you'll like it. Please review!**

 **Louisa**

His eyes, his skin, his touch. All beautiful, all perfect. All I can think about is how much I want to kiss him. And I know he wants that too. Oh and that day I shaved him. His lines, his lips, absolute perfection. And that smile. I got lost in that smile. I still do. I will never stop. I can see it in his eyes. Will Traynor is the only person that reads my soul. At first we weren't close. Well it seemed that we weren't close. Because now I know that I loved him from the first day. As he did loved me. And even if we seemed that we didn't get along at first, after the carrots I put in his soup, the pesto with the green gravy and the French movie we saw together, we expressed our intimacy to each other. Will Traynor, the young and handsome and perfect man that was bitter for the last two years, because of this bloody accident, became so intimate with me. He began joking and enjoying my company. Who knew? That under his sadness he could reveal his perfect self? But I could still see this sadness in his eyes and I didn't like it.

That night with the Molahonkey song … "Tell me something good" he said. And I did. I made him laugh. I saw him expressing his love and feelings to me without even none of us know it at that moment. And his sadness went away. Until I asked him if he did ever loved anything that much as I did loved my bumblebee tights. "Yes, yes I did" he said with a nostalgic and sad tone. It broke my heart and I shouldn't have asked that.

But his sadness is going away every time I am looking back into his eyes. Who could ever imagine that the bitter, sad Will Traynor would become sweet, thoughtful and concerned about me? Still sarcastic but in the good way of meaning. And I love his sarcasm.

I fell in love with him instantly. From the first second I walked in this annex. And I know he is the only one for me and my true love. And he feels the same. I can see it. I can feel it. From his words. From his actions. He found a job for my dad. He has done everything to make me happy. He found and bought me for my birthday these gorgeous and hard for me to find bumblebee tights. He remembered the tights. He agreed to a trip just the two of us and I am hopeful that I can change a decision that he made some time ago ….. Switzerland …

I can even now hear his words:

"And it means that one day you can go off and spread your wings without worrying about everyone else. Put yourself first for once"

This phrase makes me understand that he didn't tell me that just about my dad and that he finally had a job. He meant everyone including himself. And if I am right then Will Traynor is wrong. Because of course I put Will first. As he puts me first. And that is true love. And I love him so much.

"You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible" he said and he is right. He means by that, that I have to see the world. And it sounded natural to me when I thought about it at that moment. But now I understand that living your life as fully as possible, means to love someone with all your heart. Find your true love. And I have. I found him. And I know he understands it. That he feels the same sense of fulfillment.

"Do you know something Clark? You are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning" and this phrase says: I love you Clark. He is afraid and mad with what happened to him in that bloody accident. And he is sad about it. And that hurts me. And after that day that I accidentally found out what he's planning to do …. In Switzerland ….. . I am so bloody furious. I want him. I love him. And I'm so scared that I will lose him. And I am trying to change his mind. I need to try. I want to try. He deserves for me to try and save him. Change his mind about Switzerland. Because he is also the only thing for me that makes me feel alive and want to get up in the morning. Me before him, Oh before him, I just existed.

But knowing him, I am afraid that although he does loves me so much, he will still want to go there …. In Switzerland … No matter what I will try to change his mind. Not because he doesn't love me, but because he suffers too much. Pain, exhaustion, pneumonia, autonomic dysreflexia are things he knows too damn well. And even if it kills me to see him suffering like this, it will equally and more kill me if he does what he plans in Switzerland. He also wants to go to Switzerland even now that I am in his life because except from physical suffering, he believes that he can't give me what I need. I know that he thinks that. And he couldn't be more wrong. Because he gives me everything. He's everything I've ever wanted. And I'm everything he's ever wanted and he suffers so much. How can I help him? How can I make him see that this chair doesn't have to define him? That we can manage his pain together? Because despite his physical disability, Will Traynor is anything but disabled. He's perfect. And he loves me. He wants me to see the world. But the whole world isn't worth seeing if he won't be with me. If he will do what he plans to do in Switzerland. I must convince him to live. I will help him manage the pain.

But what if? … Oh I am afraid even to think about it. What if he will do it? That bloody thing in Switzerland? Bloody hell. Our love is unique. It's the kind of love that never fades away. And if he will do this I will react with anger by his decision, if I won't succeed to change his mind. Because I love him too much to accept that. Because I have hope that I will stop him even in the last minute. But at the end of the day, no matter how angry I will get, I will be in his side no matter what. And if he will do this, our love won't disappear. But God I need to stop him. I must change his mind. I am trying so hard. I will do anything. But if…. –and I pray to God that this won't happen - if he wants to do this anyway, I know that he loves me more than anything , more than him, as I love him more than anything and more than myself and that we will be forever together. And I will wait until I see him again. We are connected in heart and soul always. We will never lose each other. We'll be standing beside each other every step of the way. Because there's no other way. It's our destiny to be together. We have the kind of love that is beyond borders, beyond death, beyond everyone, beyond everything. And you only get one true love and for me, that eternal love, has only one name: William Traynor. My Will. As I know that his love, his one true love, has one name only: Louisa Clark. His Clark. And I will always be his Clark. We will be together forever.

I will try with all my heart to change his mind because it hurts so bad thinking of seeing him doing what he plans to do in Switzerland. But if I won't change his mind, I will never lose him and he will never lose me. If I don't change his mind, I don't want to imagine myself with any other man. It's impossible to love someone else as I love him. But even if someday I will get married or make a family I won't be happy because he will not be Will. Because Will is my soul mate and the love of my life. So maybe I will always be single, maybe I will get married but with no love for that person. Because he will not be Will. I want to make a family with Will and we can adopt children knowing that physically is very difficult to have kids on our own. I love him. But if he will do what he plans in Switzerland, I will always be with him and I will wait until the day I will see him again. And I will see him again. I will end up with him.

Because no matter where I will be or what I will do or who I will be with, I will always truly, completely and honestly love Will Traynor. He is my beginning and he will be my end.

I will never give up on him and he will never give up on me. We will be together forever in heart, in soul, in mind, in everything.

I will be walking beside you Will Traynor every step of the way. No matter what. I love you. Always have, and I will always will.

We will always be together …


	2. Chapter 2

**Will**

19th of March 2007. From that bloody day. That bloody accident. From that bloody rainy morning when that bloody motor biker hit me out of nowhere. I became unable to use my body. He made me unable to use my body. He made me unable to be the way I want to be. I stopped being active. I became bitter. For two years, I didn't let anyone in. Until she came.

I didn't have a reason to get up in the morning. Until Louisa Clark came into my life. When she stepped into the annex.

"Do you know something Clark? You are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning" and she really is. I meant every word in that sentence. And I am in love for the first time in my life. Truly in love. With her. She managed something I couldn't imagine it would be possible since my accident. She brought joy and laughter and happiness in my shadowed world. And every time she looks into my eyes she reminds me that life is worth living. And how important she is to me. She makes me cherish these moments I get to spend with her. Until I will go to Switzerland …

Yes, I will still go. Even if Clark showed to me that life is worth living despite my condition. Even if I am so completely and eternally in love with her. I will still go to Switzerland, not because I don't want to spend my life with her. Because there is nothing more I would want. I will go to Switzerland because I've had enough pain and exhaustion. And Clark deserves not to be suffering by seeing me getting worse. I don't want her to have to see me in my worst days. She already saw me in a pretty bad condition, many times.

I knew Clark was special, from the first second that my mother introduced her to me. I knew she is special to me, and after our dance in Alicia and Rupert's wedding, when I told her she is the only reason that makes me want to get up in the morning, I felt so good. So in love with her. I am dying to kiss her. And I will … soon. The moments with her, are precious. She is my fresh air. She is the one that gave me life again. I have never loved a woman before. I just liked them. But I love her. Truly. And I will always love her.

I wish we had years together. I wish we could grow old together and have children. Because she is for me and I am for her. I can see it in her eyes, in her words, in her actions. She is in love with me. And God how badly I want to kiss her. And she wants that too. And I will always be grateful to God for the moments that I get to spend with Clark. The love of my life. But I can't keep suffering and making Clark see me suffering. I didn't change my mind about Switzerland. I wish I could stay but I don't want her to have to see me getting worse all the time. I know I am not getting better. The autonomic dysreflexia, the pain, are unbearable at some point. I know I can manage the pain though. I know that this could be a good life, a great life with her. But I am afraid of what I can't give her. I feel trapped in this bloody wheelchair. I know that Clark doesn't care about my wheelchair. I know that she wants me and she feels I give her everything. And I know I give her everything because I love her. And she gives me everything too. She makes me happy. But it kills me that I can't give her a hug or make love to her. I know physical intimacy is not everything. Our souls, our minds and our hearts are connected forever and that's far more important.

I know I could change my mind about Switzerland. Because I love her, she loves me and we are giving everything to each other. But the thing is that I love her so much and I know that the man inside me is trapped in this wheelchair. It's killing me that I have to do this. Switzerland ….. I wouldn't care before. I didn't care before. But now it's killing me, because I have her and I will have to keep my plan and go to Switzerland, having her to see my body goes.

I know she is happy with all the things we share. And these feelings we share are so precious for me and I thank God every day. And I want to cherish our moments. And I want her to remember me as the sarcastic Will, full of joy and not the Will that is getting worse every single day.

Clark loves me for me and doesn't care about my disability. She doesn't care about what I can't physically do anymore. It would be better, yes, but she loves me despite that. And I love her for that. But in this wheelchair I feel that I've had enough pain. That I can't put Clark go through the nightmare of seeing me suffering. And yes, she will suffer more when I will go to Switzerland. And I will ask her to come with me. Because I want my love with me until my last breath. Maybe Switzerland is a wrong decision now that I've found her. But the thing is that I will not lose her and she won't lose me after Switzerland. The thing is that I prefer to spend the time until Switzerland with her than with anyone else. I prefer great moments with Clark, the love of my life and not years full of physical pain. And that's because I know my health will get worse.

When I got sick the first days she came, the night I felt better, with all the snow outside, I was afraid and feeling alone. Until I saw her when I woke up:

"Shouldn't you be at home?" I said, feeling so good having her in front of me.

"You're stuck with me" she said smiling

And then she asked me what happened. Why I ended up in a wheelchair and I told her.

She felt uncomfortable and said:

"Sorry, I'm being chatty again. And you need to rest"

"No. Stay. Tell me something good" I told her and she did sang me the Molahonkey song. She made me feel safe, peaceful and happy. And the story about her glittery boots and the bumblebee tights. She made me forget about how sick I was that night. She told me something good.

Clark has potential. She has soul. And that's why I push her to bring this potential on surface. I thought at first I did push her because I just liked her company and thought her as a friend and of course because of her potential. How stupid I was. It was something more than that. I fell in love with her without even knowing it.

"You know what I see when I look at you Clark?"

"Don't say potential"

"Potential. You need to widen your horizons Clark. You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible"

When she shaved me and touched my face, Oh I could stay forever in that room feeling her touch. It kills me that I have to leave. But I will only leave my body. Not her. Not ever.

She does so much for her family. She doesn't look after about what she needs, about what she wants. I had to help her dad. I wanted to. I needed to. I love her and this made her happy. And meeting her family in that dinner, the birthday dinner, I loved them too. And they loved me too.

"And it means that one day you can go off and spread your wings without worrying about everyone else. Put yourself first for once" I told her meaning except her dad, also me. I feel like she also puts me above her. And I like that, because that means she loves me. Because I put her first too because I love her. But I don't want her to worry about everyone else but her. I am afraid that when she finds out what I am planning to do in Switzerland, she will get angry because she is afraid to lose me. But she won't lose me. Our love is beyond physical death. And knowing her, I know she will be with me in Switzerland, even if she will get angry at first. And I know that when she finds out, she will try to change my mind. Because she's stubborn and I love her for that. My chatty Clark. I remember how awful I was at first with her.

"My mother says you're chatty"

"Yeah"

"Can we strike a deal? Whereby you are very un-chatty around me?"

But then I started to feel intimate with her. And after that French movie … I was craving to teach her things. She has a thirst of living and I want her to be happy. Who knew? That I would be so deeply in love. I am and I will always be in love with Louisa Clark.

Even at first when I was mean to her I was looking into her eyes and feeling so free. I guess I didn't want to admit that to myself. I was so get used to my bitter self. And she came and became the light in my soul. She will try and change my mind but she won't succeed. She will succeed something else though. She has already succeeded that: To become the reason of my existence. Because even if when my body dies, my soul will always be with her. We are soul mates. And we will see each other again. I never believed in afterlife. But now I do. And I will see her there. And we will be together. .

And my words are sincere. I am always sincere with her. I always will feel protective with Clark. I want her not to settle. To push herself. To live. And I wish I could go travelling with her, to go to Paris with her and show her everything. I wish I wouldn't go to Switzerland. But I have to.

She will suffer so much. But she will know when the time comes for me to go to Switzerland, what I know. That even when my body leaves this world, I will never leave her, she will never leave me. Our love is deep. She will understand that I did go to Switzerland, not because I don't love her. Because I adore her. She will see that I did it because I thought it would be less worse than me getting sick all the time, getting worse as the time would pass.

Our souls are as one. Connected. She is scored on my heart. I'm so in love with her and I will make sure that she will have a good life. I know everything that she wants, is for me to be with her as I want that too. But I will be with her indeed. As she will be with me.

My beautiful Clark. When I remember her reaction when I bought her the bumblebee tights I am overwhelmed …

"Oh my God I don't believe it. Where did you get this?"

I agreed to go to that trip with her, when she asked me to, while we were dancing in the wedding, because I want us to be together. Just the two of us.

"Then let's go somewhere. Anywhere in the world. Just you and me. What do you say? Say yes Will. Go on"

"Okay" I said with love in my eyes. The same love she had in her eyes looking back at me. And she was so happy. And because I know that I won't be around physically after Switzerland to travel with her, I agreed because we deserve a trip before I eventually go to Switzerland.

But I know that no matter where she is, or what she does or who she's with, she will always, honestly, truly and completely love me. As I will be always, always, be in love with her. No matter what she does, or where she is, or who she's with, I know she will be with me. I will be with her. I will always, truly, completely and honestly love her. Our love is beyond everything. A body death, my body death, won't make our love fade away. It's impossible.

And I'll be walking beside you Louisa Clark, my Clark, every step of the way. As you will be walking beside me every step of the way. No matter what. Until we meet again. And we will meet again. We are soul mates and connected in heart in soul and in mind. We are one. And we will always be. You are my A and my Z. The beginning and the end is you. Because we are meant to be.

I love you Clark. Always have and I will always will!

We will be walking beside each other every step of the way. No matter what!


End file.
